The Blog
Where eldest daughters come to name what they’ve been holding
Recognition Isn’t Relief
Your cousin sends you the TikTok at 11:47 p.m. No caption. Just the video and three crying-laughing emojis. It’s a girl about your age looking dead into the camera while text floats over her head: “Are you the eldest daughter, or are you normal?” And underneath it: “THIS IS SO YOU 😭😭” You watch it.…
Stay Calm, Call Dad
There’s a sign at the front door the house. Has been for years. Stay calm, call dad. We got it as a father’s day gift. It’s both a strategy and a personality trait. It’s a little bit of a joke. It’s also not a joke at all. Because that’s actually been true your whole life.…
You Can See Her and Still Need More A note before we begin: this is for daughters of emotionally unavailable mothers who loved them imperfectly. If your mother’s harm was something else: colder, more deliberate, more cruel, this isn’t the post for you today. That post is coming. You deserve one written for you. …
The Eldest Daughter and the Family Group Chat
You didn’t start the argument (this time) You weren’t even the one who brought it up. Someone posted something. Someone else responded wrong. A read receipt got noticed. Your auntie the one who takes everything personally and has the memory of an elephant took it personally. A cousin said something that landed sideways. Someone’s mama…
Carrying Too Much in Unsteady Times
If you’ve been moving through these days feeling heavier than usual not dramatic, not falling apart, just… heavy. You are not imagining it. This is the kind of tired that doesn’t disappear with sleep. The kind that sits in your chest, your shoulders, your jaw. The kind that shows up even on “good” days. This…